The Stuff Americans Will Put In Their Mouths

[Daniel Rogov]

When a TV show host takes a bite of something, scrambles afterwards for a glass of water and then proclaims "I think my tongue just took a shit", you know he ate something pretty bad. Well worth reading Meg Favreau's article in The Smart Set, the article not only about sausages and pancakes on a stick but about what Americans will eat. The article is at
http://thesmartset.com/article/article03051001.aspx/

Best
Rogov

Pancake.jpg (49.3 KiB) Viewed 866 times

[Matilda L]

Stick or no stick, I can't quite imagine sausage and pancake together. And what's "baconnaise"?

[Daniel Rogov]

Matilda Hi....


Actually breakfast sausages and flapjacks/pancakes are as natural a combination as are bacon and eggs. Not on a stick, I'll grant you, but side by side and with maple syrup on the pancakes....

As to "baconnaise", I assume that is a kind of pre-made, pre-processed, stabilized, fortified, long-lived and otherwise "enhanced" form of sauce - some sort of abysmally artificial Hollandaise with bacon flavor. No fear though - I have no intention whatever of ever trying this stuff.

Best
Rogov

[Trevor F]

I'd imagine that the stick is the best part.

[Daniel Rogov]

I'd imagine that the stick is the best part.

Douze points.

[Shel T]

Just a thought, but perhaps this thread should be expanded to what any group or nation puts in their mouths and how disgusting and 'yucky' its viewed by everybody elses POV.
England for example, jellied eels...YUCK!

[Trevor F]

Just a thought, but perhaps this thread should be expanded to what any group or nation puts in their mouths and how disgusting and 'yucky' its viewed by everybody elses POV.
England for example, jellied eels...YUCK!

........ or gefilte fish

[Daniel Rogov]

Oy...but I actually enjoy jellied eels and gefilte fish. And both go well with ah off-dry Riesling or Gewurztraminer.

[Francois de Melogue]

pancakes and sausage is a long time American diner staple called pigs in a blanket. nothing weird or strange there. I just got back from camping and eating at Bouchon... I was more offended by Thomas Keller's butchering of French cuisine than a garbage food company making garbage food.

[Mike_F]

... eating at Bouchon... I was more offended by Thomas Keller's butchering of French cuisine ...

Francoise - Please tell us more. I once dined at Bouchon Las Vegas and was underwhelmed, to say the least, but thought it must be due to the awful locale, or the ignorant client, or both...

best,

Mike

[Francois de Melogue]

The very fact that Thomas Keller is successful is enough to get out of the restaurant business. I am sure Per Se or the French Laundry are fine restaurants. But the restaurant business these days is almost comical. People actually think that because he lends his name to the place that he even cares remotely about it's quality. Yeah, I'm bitter. And I will never set foot in any of his places.

March 6th was my birthday. My wife Lisa and I decided to take nine days off from all three wineries we work at and go camping. We loaded our VW bus will all the usual suspects, duck confit for two nights, slow cooked organic ribs, stinky cheeses, olives, enough wine to drown Bacchus, some Bolognaise sauce... you know the usual camping fare. We decided to sto into Vegas to catch Cirque de Soleil's "LOVE" show as both of us are Beatles fans. My wife said that we ought to dine somewhere for my birthday and I was feeling like comfort food so I chose Bouchon. We were excited. I could almost smell the steak and pommes frites. We had been craving a fruits de mer platter since leaving France in September and to our joy they had a few versions offered.

The shucker was positioned by the door behind an offering of six different varieties of oysters, lobsters, shrimps, clams and mussels. When we were seated the waiter came over and asked if we were in town to do shots. Shots? No, we were in town to eat at what is called a good restaurant by one of America's supposed great Chefs Thomas Keller. I should have walked out at this point. The house music pumping in the dining room was completely unappropriate and annoying. I am not closed minded but maybe some French music may have been more appropriate to the setting. We were shocked by the mark ups when we saw the wine list. Almost no wine less than 120/bottle and anything worth drinking was so severly young that it would be doubtful if it would be enjoyable. We spent a loooooong time trying to figure the wine out. Finally we ordered a carafe of wine to go with a fruits de mer platter and then we would decide later what we woud drink with our main course. The wine was unremarkable but decent enough to drink. The fruits de mer platter was completely lacking pathetic and an insult to my stomach! If you are pretending to be a French restaurant how about actually serving fruits de mer slightly like the French... Pristine seafood would have been a good start, real French rye bread would have been a good second and mayonnaise would have been far btter than cocktail sauce. I selected three varieties of which I only got two varieties I asked for. Of the nine oysters, three were unedible, three were completely devoid of any liquid that true oyster lovers demand and the other three looked like Jack the ripper had shucked them. The raw clams tasted old, the shrimp and lobster WAY overcooked and flavorless. The sommelier stopped by to see if we needed hep with the wine list. Instead I demanded that Jack the Ripper start fresh and get my some good oysters. Paul, the somelier, promptly brought me fresh ones that looked and tasted good. If any Frenchmen had put that fruits de mer platter out that wouldn't even allow him a cigarette before they guillotined him!

We should of walked out at this point. McDonald's would have been better. I ordered the Magret and my wife the line caught Sea Bass special that sounded good. The waiter asked again what I wanted. I replied the magret. I mean I was reading this right off of their menu. He did not know what it was. So I replied the duck. He started to walk away and I yelled 'don't you want to know what temperature?'. He returned looking much like my beloved dog Lucy when I scold her. I asked for it rare. Paul came back and we pressed him for a 120 bottle that could bridge two very different flavors. He came up with an excellent Beaujolais Cru that I forget the name. It actually worked really well for different reasons with both dishes. My magret was slightly overcooked, cut wrong and served in a giant copper pan without a warm plate to spoon food onto. Obviously the Chef has never travelled to France or eaten at a French restaurant in his life. Lisa's sea bass was so overcooked that if I could of stabbed it with an ice pick I could of used it to pound nails into cement. It literally was hard like I have never known was possible. The serrano broth was ok... but just ok. The seasonings were bland. It was completely obvious that the kitchen, Chef or even Thomas Keller has a remote bit of passion. If they do, do not give them a cigarette, just behead them all!

I did not want dessert or anything else after that debacle. The Sommelier, whom we thoroughly enjoyed, brought us complimentary dessert and some free after dinner drinks. I asked for the general manager and told him it was absolutely the worst dining experience of my life and that he and the Chef, and I use that term loosely, ought tobe ashamed serving food that bad. Thomas Keller ought to be embarassed beyond belief at the low grade quality of a restaurant in his group. GOD AWFUL CRAP! Give me a sausage wrapped pancake cooked by Monsanto!

I promptly wrote a nasty letter to TK group and received a prompt apology and response that should I ever travel to Vegas again they would treat me right. I will never go back. It was that bad!

To return to an earlier comment, if restaurants like this get high accolades then my dining days are over. I cook better and cheaper at home or even in my hippie bus. If this is where the restaurant business and the world state of food is today then I have no qualms with leaving the business for good. There are absolutely no standards in this country on either restaurant quality or even food quality. We have debased dining as an art form completely and thoroughly. If

Francois 'Grimod' de Melogue

[Daniel Rogov]

Francois...

That is what I call a killer review. The worst part of it is that I believe every word you wrote.

Best
Rogov

[Mike_F]

Dear Francois,

Well at least I now have professional confirmation of my own impression. I went in there for lunch a couple years ago with a colleague while we were both stuck in Vegas for a conference. The experience wasn 't as dismal as yours, just very anemic indeed - the boredom of mediocrity...

Pity this happened on your birthday.

all the best,

Mike

[Daniel Rogov]

Am I the only one who feels a social and intellectual allergy to Vegas? Some fine restaurants, I'll agree but the surrounding vulgarity seems to rob me of my appetite. I suppose I try to avoid Vegas as much as I do Brindisi and Jersey City, New Jersey.

Best
Rogov

[Shel T]

LOL Francois, after reading your review, mirrored my experience at Keller's latest "temple of cuisine"! I mean Bouchon in beverly Hills, which needless to say was filled with trendoids salivating over the garbage they were served and paying through the nose for it. bland and tasteless was the level of 'expertise', and 'mediocre' was the pinnacle of 'excellence' never achieved, kinda never getting further than the foothills of Everest.
On top of which this poor excuse for a brasserie charging the highest haute cuisine prices had for seating something that really offends me and is almost never mentioned, the most uncomfortable chairs possible to get, the rickety wood type that even the Salvation Army and good Will wouldn't sell.
And it was noisy as hell, another 'feature' of restos that's barely mentioned when reviewed, great for lip readers and old married couples who have nothing left to say to each other.
Yet to read the reviews on this joint, one would not be surprised that it was Savarin or Francois's alter ego, Grimod, writing about it favorably and that Keller was the second-coming of Careme.
Then there is Gordon Ramsay, the sweet-talking celeb chef, who also opened a resto here in L.A. recently. the reviews on his joint were so bad, couldn't bring myself to test it in person.
A clear case of you can fool most of the people all of the time.

[Francois de Melogue]

Rogov... i am as non violent as can be. But if we nuked Vegas and blew it into millions of pieces leaving only a radioactive crater of melted plastic and plastic people I would not shed a tear. Maybe that is where Osama is hiding? I went to Vegas solely for the cirque de soleil show... I hate vegas with a passion only reserved for child molesters... Grimod

p.s. these days I am far more impressed by a great inexpensive restaurant that is unknown or a great inexpensive bottle of wine than I am by the big shots and $500 price tags... I had lunch at a small Israeli restaurant in Berkeley the other day... great meal, under $20 for two. I ate at Korean BBQ for dinner, unbelieveable value and fantastic food... is this old age settling in?

back onto the note of this era of celebrity Chefs... if only they could cook as good as their egos were large than we would certainly be in storm for great gastronomic moments. Unfortunately this is the way of America and perhaps the world these days... image over substance, image over quality... Where are the artisans hiding these days? I am thinking of starting an underground restaurant in the Anderson Valley - homemade cheeses, local wines, locally raised foods, vegetables from the garden, local bread, fresh local butter... nothing pretentious just good food...

GRIMOD

[Daniel Rogov]

Reading some of the above posts I was reminded of a period, about ten years ago, when I considered writing a book to be entitled "100 Restaurants At Which I Have Suffered". I actually wrote three of the mini-chapters. Catharsis was really good for my soul but I realized that if ever this book was published I would have to make a lover of my banker (she is quite attractive) in order to pay my legal bills.

The book will never make it to the light of day. My columns will however continue... See, for example

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1155664.html ,
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1105681.html and
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1127692.html

Best
Rogov

[Mike_F]

... I am thinking of starting an underground restaurant in the Anderson Valley - homemade cheeses, local wines, locally raised foods, vegetables from the garden, local bread, fresh local butter... nothing pretentious just good food...

Tell us when. I will happily look for a way to cross two continents and a ocean to drop in.

mike

[Daniel Rogov]

... I am thinking of starting an underground restaurant in the Anderson Valley - homemade cheeses, local wines, locally raised foods, vegetables from the garden, local bread, fresh local butter... nothing pretentious just good food...

Tell us when. I will happily look for a way to cross two continents and a ocean to drop in.

mike

Indeed agreeing with Mike. Tell us how and where and we may actually organize the first trans-continental forum meeting. Be warned though.....we will bring some Israeli cheeses and wines for you to sample.

I'll even go further....if any are interested, I would be delighted to organize and "guide" a North-American dining and wine-tasting fest for the forum.

Best
Rogov

[Francois de Melogue]

then I extend an offer to all of you: private insider tastings at three Anderson Valley wineries... the highest rated in the county Breggo Cellars where I am currently standing; Goldeneye, part of the Duckhorn group and Claudia Springs Winery - CSW is one of my favorite as it is unpretentious and low key but the wines are great as are the prices...

Grimod

p.s. Mike gave Lisa and I an Israeli wine that rocked. I was very surprised because in America when you say Israeli wine you usually get a strange look... almost akin to the look Garreth Blackstock got in Lyon when he was looking for British wine on the BBC program 'Chef'

[Daniel Rogov]

Francois, Hi....

We love you. You know we love you. Visiting wineries can be great but such an organized trip would be in the cards only when/if you open your underground restaurant. No fear though....we will continue to love you.

Best
Rogov

[Bobby S]

Francois,

You ordered oysters in Vegas? Sure they weren't Rocky Mountain Oysters?

[Jenise]

Just a thought, but perhaps this thread should be expanded to what any group or nation puts in their mouths and how disgusting and 'yucky' its viewed by everybody elses POV.
England for example, jellied eels...YUCK!

Holland: french fries with mayonnaise

[Francois de Melogue]

really? fries and mayo is much better than fries and corn syrup and tomatoes, I mean Ketchup. Fries and Rouille... now there is heaven! Grimod